Don’t ask if the glass is half full or half empty, be happy that you have a glass at all. Why study and apply gratitude in everyday life? It promotes happiness. Gratitude can have both intrinsic and extrinsic value because the act of feeling gratitude and showing gratitude has distinct benefits.
Intrinsic Gratitude
Firstly, focusing on and feeling intrinsic gratitude looks something like this:
“Today I woke up in a horrible mood, stressed about work and my kids. I could feel my thoughts begin to swirl into a downward spiral, so I tried to do something proactive. I began to focus on the top five things I am grateful for. It may take a while to muster up all five, but by the time I’ve done it, I feel better. I’m grateful for the way my new puppy looks at me; that I’m not homeless; that I had the nerve to confront my boss the other day; that my pants still fit…. Purposely thinking about these things makes me feel better.“
In a state of gratitude, people are thankful for the good things in life. What’s more, the acknowledgment of those good things, considered in rich detail, brings people happiness.
Extrinsic Gratitude
Secondly, extrinsic gratitude involves more of a give and take dynamic between a person and those around them. This can serve to benefit their lives as it strengthens social bonds with feelings of appreciation and reciprocity. People can use acts of gratitude to thank, apologize or help solve other interpersonal problems people may face.
The two planes of gratitude are made up of the awareness first of the goodness in our lives, and then of the source of that goodness that lies outside of ourselves. In addition, this process helps people to recognize the things that make them happy in their current state.
Psychological Benefits of Being Grateful
Mental Health
Being thankful towards one’s self, life or others has been shown to boost mental health as well as promote well-adjusted moods and behaviours. Grateful people tend to be less neurotic, more agreeable, flexible and happier.
Stronger Self Discipline
Self-discipline helps us to be controlled and productive towards our long-term goals without succumbing to our short-term desires that may derail us. Eventually, we all become familiar with the consequences of having a decadent late night snack. Even though we would love to indulge in the sensory experience of it, we make an effort to avoid the temptation. This is an example of self-discipline in action, helping us to fit into our vacation clothes.
A study by DeSteno et al. in 2014 discovered that self-discipline was elevated when people chose gratitude over happiness. These findings could have broad applications for treating people with addictions and difficulties with impulse control. It’s amazing to think that the simplicity of being thankful can lend us the willpower we need to make the best choices for our lives.
Interpersonal Relationships
People who are cognizant of, and able to express their gratitude forgive others more easily and are less likely to be narcissistic. Having the humility to thank others around you serves to strengthen the relationship and help you develop new ones. It also enhances the degree to which individuals feel connected and the satisfaction they report about their relationships.
Happiness
If being grateful provides a direct and long-lasting boost to happiness, and studies show that it does, it is arguable then, that the more thoughts and acts of gratitude a person engages in, the happier they will be. One study on the topic had participants give a thank-you note to someone they knew for something they had done. Then, after engaging in the activity people reported improved happiness and life satisfaction, a shift that even had a lasting impact weeks later!
Make Perception Your Reality
Just like eating well and getting enough exercise, practicing gratitude can reduce levels of stress (Krause, 2006), depression and anxiety (Kashdan & Breen, 2007). It’s one of the lesser-known habits of healthy, calm and well-adjusted people. Next time you can’t make it to your work out, consider giving some thanks instead!
For ages, philosophy and religion have implied that gratitude is an essential emotion for a successful society. Today, it has been studied using more than philosophy. Psychologists have investigated it with rigorous experiments and the scientific method to determine that it really does make a difference on one’s long-term perceptions and mood.
Perhaps the best part about gratitude is that it can be applied anywhere by anyone for free. All someone needs to do is simply recognize things they are grateful for and meditate on that. So, next time you feel like life is letting you down… change your mind.
